Listing all my woes from along time ago, i must say i am a bit impressed by my resilience. I needed meds as soon as i met hubby.

two years later.

I definitley had a predisposition for a very difficult life for a long long while. But many things were popping up, here and there to make me hang on. I have told you all my explanation for such a harsh life for so long though usually wealthy apart from a few years on welfare to avoid going back to hubby too soon after 2006- I believe i must have been treated as a boss in my last life.And proved too vain for god's taste. Simple as that. See how easy it is to make sense of everything when you are buddhist? The heart may be pure, but sins exist and tempt us in big boss lives we have here and there. I. repented too late in my last life and really was a bit disgraceful in my secret mind heart. I have no clue whether I was a man or a woman last. If I was a man, I must have been pretty nice overall despite God,s judgment who is the only one who can judge with wisdom.

God judges us for our thoughts too, our secret motivations. It is our responsibility to clear upour head. By asking for his mercy on our mind so troubled when it is. Dont forget one thing: this crazy life with hubby all along, made me have the best visions ever had by me in all eternity up to now, i am sure of it- they were all so fucking cool. Maybe I even begged God to make of me a deep mystical woman when, before rebirth, I learned about my next human life. In his mercy, he gave me as much as i could handle. Punsihment, and rewards.