The Lama Gyurme CD is playing. The kitchen door on the deck is open and Billy is staying on the deck, harness still on, in the sunshine. I am starting to consider, for the first time in my life, that the woman who raised me is my real mother and I have not been adopted. It is a strange feeling but it comes easier on the phone with her now.  I spoke to both mom and dad today on the phone. I will miss them I think whe they are gone. So I make the most of it now.