...you dont tend to hurt anyone as much if you are mad ranting, out of it about them, because of a coniption in your brain.  Nobody I know from up close as ever read a lot of the blog. I wanted to be heard and see what i thought by rereading myself, self help for my mental health sort of thing. But I am glad I did not get heard by most people in my life. There are two people I worry about though. Amazing people of course. I was plain mad when I insulted one of them on tumblr. I had no manners and I saw hatred everywhere after 2015-2016. But it was in my mind and absence of self esteem total.