It is pretty to watch this fall outside from the warmth of my living room. We just went Noel shopping in time at noon and it started snowing after we came back home. I am so worried about hubby and his freak outs on me about my meds. I have been taking that medication for 17 years. I think i am pretty reliable. I cant go on living with crazy dangerous Brian like that. Why am I so alone in this? I have told my doctors about this when I was in hospital. I have no idea if they believed me but. they offered no help for him despite me begging them to find him a therapist. Brian lies to EVERYONE so no one can help him. He lives in a total illusion of his own actions , behaviours and mine. He has never once apologized to me in BC. He gets edgy and dangerous if I try to hold him accountsable for his violence so crazy.  He gets physically violent now so this is very bad. He is very very lost and this constant lying to everyone keeps him ill.