I am on my sixth cider at 5.5 % alcool,  i have smoked plenty of dubby and a huge amount of cigarettes. I am certainly not being modest and fasting right now. Total intocixants frenzy and indulgence. There is a certain illusiory quality to all this right now now though. I am deeply enjoying my near stupor from alchool or at least drunkeness tonight. I very very far away got drunk that much maybe 10 years ago, in here too, while sick this time.This night is a total bubble of intoxication allowed. I am definiltey impaired and dreaming as i write and meditate too, of course.l Alcohol makes you super slow, a bit in a stupor. And walking can be tricky. I am very very drunk, drunker than i have felt in 10 years. It is because I popped a sleeping pill too tonight, needing to hit bed time before midnight.