Again, I suspect it is lack of pity.

I am sad at everything I have said on this blog. Some of it was wonderfully fun and happy too though. But the inuslts to everyone are very sad. My dad truly loves me now: I can hear it in is voice. In many ways, thank god I live out west and far though it would have been nice if any of them had visited in the last 10 years. They are not interested. Mom does not even want me to visit them though she is super pleasant on the phone. It is such a strange family and I am totally the black sheep. I miss dad. He would love to see me. No one else would.