Hubby was at war with me at home and wanted divorce because he had lost his mind too. this is when i became a saint, the precedent year, for two weeks. For two weeks, all day and night I was seeing with a perfect and true compassionate gaze on everyone. It was my reward after hell on earth with hubby for two years that drove me utterly out of my mind in despair. God always reward us after psychic extreme pain everyone. When you feel a calling to God, follow it, even if you know everyone is hurting you where you live but you have no option to leave. I always knew hubby would not kill me nor use knives etc. He is not a maniac. And he is deeply wise.