Woke up at 7am, cuddled to the max against Billy buddy boy.

We fell asleep as I was petting him last night.

I truly have the thrill of an easy child with billy, a simple truth of joy and pure youth. It is perfect truly. My whole body was too fucked up very early on to have children anyway: borken back, sterilization in hospital in toronto etc.

And who wants to bear children for 9 months anyway only to be ripped in two by giving birth....Not me I said to God many times in this lifetimes. So I had a fake pregnancy where I felt like I was meditating while educating a baby in me.It is hard to explain excatly what happened during those 9 months....We never ever saw any baby. :)

In turth, I look ahead and forward to being a fullfledged mother in my next long life as a black lady. From the feelings with billy, I KNOW again how amazing a good pure child can make you feel. Not all children are as amazing as what I feel in billy, but surely, they kind of all are when you raise them as God wants you to.