My left hand has a cramp that wont go away and still gets worst with time.  I have feared this time when dystonia may come from increasing my meds recentely back to 45 mg after three injections or four at 40mg to try it out again after tree years. I have now to face the beginning of this serious worsening over time handicap, physical, very debilitating potentially.  I have asked God to give me pain physical and not psychic pain before i die if there is pain to be had. This is painful. May god bless me with resilience and good mind and peaceful heart and life living conditions.  I am scared of course. the pain does not seem to go away whatsoever. I did dare call msyelf a martyr at the back of my joual piece Maman a la fenetre, a poetry autbiographical and full (92) of cultural allusions and references.