a third white rum.

the rest eggnog.

slow sipper.

Lama Gyurme is singing The lama's chant. it is nice though his voice is not maybe as warm as on Rain blessings, another of his cds. I feel so good these days. Hubby freaked out tonight, totally ptsd too, when I tried to discuss how plan if I ever need to get to the hospital again. I really dont want him to call cops anymore, this is too brutal and dangerous for me. However, he flipped and left screaming when I mentionned that. he feels guilty for having called them when he saw what they did to me who was rolled in a ball on the floor the whole time. We have to find a way to bring me to hospital next time just him and I. This is what was done some times in 2005 with hubby and I, together. I do think this is the wiser option. When I become catatonic from stress or too low meds, i should simply calmly inject again the meds and go to bed. I dont know if this is feasible by me anymore....when I am very ill it is hard to make the right decisions.