I got up at 5H30, after too little sleep and feeling ill. I got too hot in my room. I cannot help but feel a bit same old same old to see neither my parents nor sister called nor email to wish me happy new year though they celebrated all together yesterday, i am really alienated deep from this family. There is no genuine warmth towards me in that family. i dont want to get depressed yet again at their total lack of thinking about me joining their family on celebrations. I will not call any of them nor send them emails.  Their spontaneous inititaive did not come. I am too tired to reach out to them, begging for inclusion, once again.*

* big sister just emailed me a one liner to wish me Happy New year.