So what happens to my consciousness as I know it when I pass? Does it get forgotten and I start from scratch again? Does God at leats remember it? I tend to say Yes to the latter.

But all this that i know, will be all forgotten when I die. So strange to think that. It makes me long to think that. Like my heart wants to open up and be swallowed by God in harmonious music and light. Because who else but God survives all of us? I am frightened tonight about death, about forgetting all that I know in this lifetime. I am attached to whom i have become, who I have been somewhat due to memories, and what I am.

I am attached to all those who are loved by me in my life: my family, my pets, my husband, a few friends, my inlaws, strangers in the park and others...

To say goodbye to my awareness of all of this is such a big loss I feel...And does reincarnation even exist? Or do we simply disappear? Become nothing? My visions were so cool and vivid here, i cannot phantom that this life is all we get. For eternity! Really? I want to live forever with God and my loved ones! Isn't that a promise we make to God and God to us with Him or Her? Om muni muni mahamuni soha