Everyone is asleep. I tried to sleep at 12h30-1 am but got up again, unable to fall asleep.

I am VERY ill online with emails at times. It is so discombobulating, shameful, and scary for me. I have no idea what gets into me when I am heavily intoxicated: stories, rants, nonsense that I want to share...It troubles everyone and that is why I should truly stop. But I can't seem to and it's been going on 3 years that I want to tackle once and for all that problem. Maybe just emailing less often? I worry a lot that I am living a lie online...it has to stop these fantasies indulgences...these crazy so called predictions that never turn out real....I have become very mad.