yea, truly, that is not fun at all but God is impressed I never complained to him during that time. I realized my mental health was rather pristine after nasty traumas in hospital without brian for a while. I truly thanked him for my mental health and asked for money eventually. It took a while. I stayed on welfare for three years. I moved constantly each year throughout the years. Such is the life in poverty: you can lodge where you would want to stay for a long time but not without your hubby. So go go go forth into the world anouk, and get healthy before you get back to crazy brian. Such is what forever my god allowed in my peaceful life with Him and Brian up to 2009.