I am smoking a smoke and drinking my coffee with Billy boy asleep next to me on the red couch. He slept most of the night with me. Except when I got up for two hours or so I think.

Whiskey is drinking on the deck. 

I will never understand or rather know why I found loving my mother so hard. certainly, if I had known success and money I would have been a bitch on top of being very unhappy too. Too much ego. I may have been very sweet but not a saint when I was born.

Saints dont refuse God's call to love someone....

It was so haaaaard, to love my mother! Though she is now prefectly a nice 82 years old lady, easy to love by now.