Sigh...I am mad mad mad in emails and online. I still have enough social moderation and filter to act well face to face and on the phone. But online I say the wildest craziest most convoluted shit ever to my poor people.

Rereading my correspondance in february and march 2024 with my old ancient male friend from my teenager yars (an adult who kind of raised me too bascially), i was petrified. No censorship, the shittiest stories of reincarnations ever. No wonder he definitely took his distance since before easter. I am so socially affectively fucked up. Simply put, I am mad and always will be. may i come to term with this peacefully again and again and same for my people who suffer because of my delusions they painfully read on and on about. The real ugly bit in all this behavioural dysfunction online is that i appear super VAIN. How ugly.