Yes, truly, when I look at the leaders of tibet and other tulkus, I realize it is an exceedingly demanding life of discipline, celibacy and sobriety. I think the 14th is now 88 or 89 years old. can you imagine 90 years of being a monk  and doing so much for others and buddhism from tibet all along? exhausting. And the self abnegation must be huge. And extremely long. They seem, these leaders, very peaceful and content though. i am so far from such big capacity. I must have a heck of a lot more to live in this life then. I liked to think of a crazy wolf life to come. and a wonderful sad crow free life.

And maybe a few other things first. Then, and only after then, would I think myself ready to start the toughest discipline life I would have ever lived. Really everyone, a good dalai lama life like the 14th and even the 17th karmapa is very very hard to achieve successfully to that extent. It takes a heck of a lot of mana and free will for Buddha first.  Right now, I am way out of it- just focusing on self healing and positive creative message. I must admit it was much fun to imeprsonate the energy of a young Maitreya on the blog at the beginning of the month. I am so wild it is marvelously fun for me. And I hope inspiring for those who like my style and writing. hallelujah!