And even a rare phone call to an actual old friend.

He commented my voice was something else....oops. That is from all the cigarettes, it is very raw and raspy by now.  I can barely hum a tune or sing and I use to sing in choirs and talent shows.

It is truly without regrets so far that i live with my more and more mangled body, and better and better mental health due to being kinder in behaviour and practice and words written and uttered. It is a feeding loop when the baseline is safe and sound again.

I feel very ...hum, what is the word...composed, I think would do as a description.

Its like a sort of mana I feel from my blog , rereading it. Maybe it is only my subjective impression and truly, very few people read me nowadays. It is fucking satisfying to have reconnected with two old friends. For almost 10 years, I have been a friend of the whole neighborhood. That is as far as friendhsp as I got except Rosie. It is very okay to live without close friends for very long when you are well married or not. You learn to turn to God.