I am at complete sad peace. I am realizing many things tonight. Including that my mariage to a crackpot may be this one. It would be such a sad sad ending I dont wish that on anyone else.

may he, by some miracle, heal from his cynical mind that fuckes him up totally, and reach nibbana one day.

I am so sad at seeing another aspect of how the story could end. very very saddening for everyone. I just dont really know nor understand it, myself.