I complain to God tonight that I am too foolish and not down to earth and helpful enough for the real world. I always wanted to be a hero but it is truly not my life.

Just a regular blessed fool with a quiet calm life so far in the last long while. This is the truth. I am certainly no buddha though I seem to have a strange glow.

I have been living in my imagination so very much all along. The wolrd seemed too crappy that I saw to accept it as is and not want to try to escape it in my mind wiht pot and boose and writing.

If I am ever known to the public, it will be as a crazy woman. Who could write cool stories. That is not enough for my self esteem but self esteem is sometimes just the dirty ego.