When I was sick, i started emailing them anything I thought ever.

Followed a flood of emails to everyone, emails that did not make much sense either. The fact hat I was CONVINCED since forever (2 years old) that my mother was not my biologicalmother is pure fantasy.

She told me a bit about her both pregnancies: she said she would gooutside and take deep breath so we would be intelligent and she asked God that she would be only good to us.

She really is sweet and if she was ever cruel, it was simply because she was unhappy. Such is samsara: it often asks from us very difficult things at which we fail for a while, because we are too tired.

The depth of my misery to have felt so very alienated from my family ever since I was 2 years old (what I recall) is so very sad and tragic almost, though I woke up in time.