Not really my parents fault at all. Once again, I was raised by complete strangers except mom. From the pregnancy too I got to know her well. She made zero sense to me.

It was simply a bad kamma as a baby, and we will never know why exactly except god's punishment on my mind, filled with demons. It was the best spiritual catholic freedom liberation I ever had in the end. And Jesus never dies for me. I refuse. He died because of a fucked up mob. Thanks to God, a good story of eternal life after his death appeared on earth.