Yes, I have suffered greatly, the most of you all?
I am COMPLETELY wisely at peace.
None of you are nor will be.
In the end, my life was BY FAR the best of everyone in my family: I am the only one with dad who does not see the war.
All this to say: Life can get fucking hard each time. Dont complain and pray to God to leave this samsaric world of suffering one day.