I have really been super duper harsh in emails at times will all three of them( parents and sister).

What wasted time is hatred! And especially ressentment.

I was quite ill to detest them so much.

My parents adore me and by now, i tremendously enjoy speaking with them on the phone. Glory may be to God! halellujah! amen! Om shanti om!

UPDATE

I just called my mother and she called back. She was telling me about her life, her big operations she had around 50  and 60 years old. About my grandma whom we visited together once in hospital, just her and I, when i was 4. She sounds so very very very nice. Why did I ever hate her so very much? How crazy I have been with them! I can totally understand why I am reborn in a family of spiders that will sting me nonstop all my spider life- punishment from my Buddha in the sky family. It is atrocious how I never ever understood nor had any sympathy for my mother.

No pity nor mercy in my CONSTANT judgment of her. I say bring on the spiders , God and may I purify my mind and soul from this lifetime with her, treating her so poorly online and in emails, so I am worthy to know her from up close again one day in my future. May she never have to leave her home and may they die together, her and dad. Certainly, neither would be happy to survive the other. Especially not mother I suspect. Protect them much in what is to come, and may they be brave and fearless quickly if it turns nasty in canada. Om muni muni mahamuni yeh svoha Om muni muni mahamuni yeh svoha Om muni muni mahamuni yeh svoha