Yes truly, being popular is always annoying to me and a  bit of a curse on my peace of mind. Because I forget God and quickly get vain and high on popularity.

Which is totally destructive of everything I have worked on up to now to become and transform as wiser into. He may tempt me in my next life but I really ask Him or Her not to tempt me with it. I have asked for the life of an ascete. But a relaxed one who though hisprecepts are hardcore, is super simple and fun with everyone.

It ismy belief that practicing hardcore ascetism will be necessary for my next life if I am popular of my living. This practice shall keep me modest. How? Because ascetism is not easy and gets us always quickly close to God as we pray for strenght throughout it all. It is crazy how vain I have been as a child and youth as anouk. I should not, but I blame my family.