It is 19H00. This is a very good jazz program. I feel like I have done nothing all day except cook, clean a tiny bit (I am a pig and so is hubby) and walk Billy once. And write on the blog and emails. The blog has been busy today. I feel very relaxed today. Hubby's mood is wonderful although he worked all day at the cafe, grading. I used to think hubby's main obstacle to happiness was his lack of gratefulness. This seems to have changed. I think he feels safe and loved now that I dont let loose in madness like I have. Can you imagine how hard these last two years must have  been for him? I mean 2019-2021? With covid, his job troubles and my madness and irresponsibility towards both our mental health? It was time to see a shrink although they have been useless and I am the one who found the dose for my meds. The hospital stays, all three of them, even the unwarranted one in October, were a very nice time actually, especially that I needed to get away from BJG who was getting dangerous again. But who could have stayed sane when their partner indulges her mad streaks like I have?