I am trying hard to contain myself. I have my seams giving up under the pressure. I will explode in ten thousands lights and blood and brain will splatter to infinity. I am listening to the night. The hood was very noisy today, especially at around 2pm. It would be very strange to live alone again. Right now, i would love to talk with hubby. I have cleaned some of the messy kitchen. I should really start cooking for us again. But he is so difficult. No chicken, no pasta, no tofu, no fake sausages, no real sausages, no couscous, no quinoa, no white rice nor brown rice, no potatoes, no eggplant, no red meat etc. 

I have not eaten today. Just smoked huge amounts of cigarettes and drank decaf coffees with milk. Ate a fruit bar. And a slice of bread with butter oh and two slices of bread with cheese!! Not so bad. Better than I thought.