I think I took half a sleeping pill yesterday and drank on top of it, which I usually dont do. I dont feel too good this morning. Hubby is working at the cafe.It is 11:15am and I dont feel good and healthy physically. I am finally smoking a cigarette. If I do have a stroke, it will be super duper hard. My Grandma had one, at 90 years old. I am only 45 though. God nows what will happen. I feel too ill right now to actually think much of my last rants make sense. I am NOT very  enlightened , i am just an illuminated and mingyur does have a great family, it was all crazy wisdom what I said about him. He truly is a great master of meditation: the best contemporary master I have ever read.