In the last few years, I totally did not embrace this view of God. God does not punish: he teaches. But now that I think of it, he punishes too in a sense perhaps since that is teaching too. I really have been a sick person. This hatred seen towards me broke me and turned me into a monster socially with my loved ones. It is true no one was there for me when I asked for help. but people are all limited in what they can give us. People are fearful. Traumatized. Unsure of what to believe. I had no one for the longest time and BJG was always so aggro. It was tough. But spewing hateful things to everyone because I needed them and they failed me I thought was terrible. Poeple may not have loved me, but they liked me. I should have respected that even if it was not what I wanted.