Thought yesterday was out of this wolrd nice, I have not slept properly. I guess my tumour is really fucked right now. Wouldn't it be nice if I just fell into unconsciousness here instead? We'll see what Jesus will petition to God about me? I just yelled a bit but felt bad right after. God appeared to say he hears me and Jesus is on my case. I dont care to spend Xmas here, i am sorry. I dont think anyone will really mind, right? One week before being unplugged would be max.The ideal scenario is hubby comes home tomorrow and finds me unconscious. I really cant face another day. It was an excellent life says Buddha. Thank you Jesus for speaking to God about my case. He heard you I think says Jesus. Thanks so much. i am zonked.