I am no saint no matter the trauma I endured in 2006-2007 and 2015-2016. However gruesome they may have been, there is nothing exceptional in my traumas. many people around the globe survive far worst. It is so pretentious deep down, however innocently I believed it at the time, to think I will die a saint. To be honest, it brought me so much peace and comfort to believe it. I am at a crux in my life: I am happy but tired and see things not really going anywhere but steady from now on.