This will have to be the hardest thing I ever do. It must be do able, surely? A doctor once told me I would have to be followed closely if I stopped cigarettes given my meds and everything. That does not seem to be possible as there is no help available for me even on a regular yearly  basis. No competent shrinks in my life forever . Last one was 2021, the second best shrink I met since I was 20 or 21. 

Oh, who am I kidding? I could never stop smoking to become a nun. But I believe in life's surprises, so I dont give up. Should I quit smoking on a retreat? that seems super wild and dangerous....i could become very irritable or nervous and I would have to meditate 4 hours a day, sitting only in silence.