I woke up at about 5:00am. The music is lovely (it was a ballet). I am a bit discouraged at how mean my emails are when I smoke dope and think I know things about people I really really dont know. My friend in Ontario is so amazingly calm and zen about it all. I am convinced her rebirth is horrible and I am freaking out about it. How could that be of someone so nice, kind and sweet? I must have an illusion about her. I am truly not that wise that is for sure. And Thank you God for such amazing people in my life: now , can you stop giving me ideas about their rebirths which are supposedly horrible? It makes no sense to me or anyone else! Also, I am sure as heck I was not Joan of Arc no matter how good I feel truly at times...I am too foolish today to have been a great martyr in such a long time ago! if anything, this one life is the only one I became a martyr illuminated.