i had missed it in the last week. Now it is at last playing again. I will love being a nun, I know this. It is truly a calling I had in this life but that I am not prepared yet to have in this one go. It is strange to believe I will never know who I was as anouk in my future life. but I will for sure...my soul is with me forever and energy comes later in each lifetime, quicker and quicker each time. Earlier and earlier I mean. i will be one tough dalai lama mentally when I finally , in many lives, make it there. Right now, i hav much much to practice to be a good religious leader for tibet. Mostly: selflessness (motherhood will be great for that) and devotion, utter devotion. To more than my human guru or husband. But to faith strictly. The chod is so very nice this morning. Oh, the joy in hearing such pujas is great. Thank you to tibet for inspiring me so much in this lifetime, in judy's and in many lives to come. Om tare tuttare ture svoha Om are tuttare ture svoha Om mani pémé hung