I am so freaking out socially today with family members. I think I am completely mad to have ranted against them so much. But I am hoping it was therapeutic at least. I have a big great hole in my chest when I think of my family members. I was always the strange nonconforming one. i felt alienated since a tender age of childhood. They may be no reason for that. Just nothing in common with family deep down? or i was already sick back then and distorted everything? I dont know but I truly have to grow up.