Sad nostalgic songs from when I had left Brian because he scared me too much in 2001 and was only yelling at me. I listened to that album nonstop, on loop. I am contemplating this time left we have: will it be screaming and fighting or peace and love? We dont have much time left together. Why is he always so angry at the slightest frustration of him?

The music is bringing me back to my years without my man. I was infinietly lonesome during these years but I worked for a while and made good money. I left him again to get back on my feet after the highly traumatic stay at the hospital in 2006. I chose welfare and lonesomeness rather than his tantrums and proximity after my traumas so devastating. I wanted to be healthy when I went back to him. he never heard me explain this. He thinks he was a fool for having waited for me and been sad I had ditched him for three years.