The nuns of chukchikjall are chanting pujas, and I am listening attentively. I am very afraid God would punish me a lot and make me run out of meds if the states elect this monster.

I would not understand what I did so very wrong if that was the case, because certainly that would be a huge punishment. After having had me feel so very delightful and ectsatic for years.

God and Buddha, i am sorry if my rage caused hurt in the mind or emotions of others. I was quite sick. I pray you will spare me running out of meds as this would completely destroy my mind and my body and me. If I have done you wrong, please forgive me and show me the way to avoid such nasty end of life sufferings as running out of meds. I am all ears and eyes, and will follow Buddha my Lord and Your inspiration. I trust in You and pray You can guard my mind against the worst and my mind from running out of meds. Om mani peme hung om mani peme hung amen!