The back door is open. Billy just opened it. I hear the sound of machines in the background, far away. I am getting ready to say goodbye to Tummo. I spent a long time reciting mantras and telling her memories I had with her and what I wanted in the future: to meet her again. I am calm this morning and sad. I feel TumTum is really suffering this morning. We will take her outside for 10 minutes before going to the vet. I have decided to not get her ashes back. It is 300$ and hubby may lose his job soon. I am hoping I can go light some lampions (small lamps) in a buddhist temple in her name. There is a japanese temple nearby.