I cant seem to live without them! I physically break down and everything hurts like mad. But I should certainly try to curb them at 1 pack a day instead of 3 on long days of 20 hours.

I have no choice really: we soon wont have any money whatsoever.

Hubby thinks he will never be hired again anywhere if he looses his job this time. I am not sure this is truth but he is adamant this is the way it works in his field.

It is so very wild to end up poor again at close to 50 years old and 59 years old....Hubby has never lived on welfare before. It is harsh.