Its been wild, with the heat wave on top it is an odd state. I cannot believe I am as holy as this blog suggests and my emails. Weird, weird, weird.

I am so very very high.

I dont truly understand if I am so holy as this blog seems to suggest. why my life was so painful and I was so fucked up. Punishment,I think we can all say.

But I know my visions were better in this life than whatever previous life I ever had. The 14th is a monument and I fear the day I will be called to be a monk for so many as 80 years.

It looks so very very tiring and tedious to appeal to the people so much and dedicate your whole daily life to them. Waving at them is tuk tuk for hours at slow speed in a procession. etc etc.

and such things as holding many rituals publicly at the venerable age of 90. It is a HUGE sacrifice of free time and i command anyone who can do it though they. like me, dont enjoy it. The 14th is the biggest life of my living concurrent leader which impressed me religiously to no end.  His selflessness makes no doubt.

As I am,I could certainly never be a happy monk for 80 years. i really really dont have it in me this selfless religious devotion.

Certainly not as a public bling and nobel peace prize leader monk, the worst for your peace of mind. I have come to hte conclusion that I dont like being famous of my living. I am as surpsied as some of you with this conclusion.  By 40, I had accepted my complete failure at success in society and culture.

This icognito and utterly free life is way easier for us all on our total peace of mind then meddling with the mob and the people. When we are of smaller capacity, like me, anyway.