I am letting you all into my bubble, my perspective and imagination and observations too of the real samsaric world we all live in. I contemplate death and what could happen to me in case of war. It is not that paranoid in these days and ages.

Buddhism states that the world is impermanent. That we shall all contemplate death daily and what that means for how we want to live.

When I was off the complete meds dosage, circa I dont know when, in BC, I was living in fear of being killed constantly. It was a lot of fun because it did not make me violent ever whatsoever. Just constantly thrilled that the day could be my last one. it kept me much much entertained with strong emotions and practicing bravery despite thoughts scary of what could happent to me. It was only my mind that was imagining these things of course. But how I trusted God always to teach me no matter what I think.