Oh how grossed out I am by cigarettes and joints right now. All i want is cider on top of it. Possible I was Hafez in my previous life.

I know very little about islam as anouk. Apart from a koweiti friend, I befriended zero muslims and they are stuck in a sexist tradition according to me though I think Hindus are even worst. I have a much maryrdom marriage coming at some point in islam. 

certain lives, to allow us groundbreaking insights and visions, we are totally loopy from traumas and rapes etc.

Other life, we have pristine mental health all along and we live 92 years old. Do tell god what you did find too hard in your life. She will let it known to you how to find your peace with those challenges.