My skill and thing is crazy wisdom. It is not efficiency necessaily.

I mailed two enveloppes with recent books. One to Chilliwack spca who does not correspond anymore with me. And one to our friendly korean acquaintance Minjung, back in Korea by now.

I may for sure never ever become Jesus of Nazareth, he is too nice for me to ever be so mild like him and kind, but he is a hero. And maybe simply, I am less chirstian than I think. I abhorre the interpretation that his blood 'cleanse us of our sins'.  I find it super barbaric and primitive the thought that killing perfection could be good for us.

In this life, we all know I have zero capacity to be much heard of my living. But my books are mildly getting read by animal lovers and neighbours. And family and friends.

Though I am super satisfied with my mind overall for a still crazy wise lady, It is obvious to me I cannot do much at all on the scene or on any scene. I was infinitely vain as a 5 years old. It is my main sin that makes me get punished each lfetime until I no longer feel so hot for no reason but loving my mind. Anger has always also been, in ym 30s an childhood, an issue. I quickly quickly freak out.

So I will just pass as a small saint one day but because I told so very fucking many stories, I hope my life becomes a legend more than truth of details. I want my brokenness and healing to be of great inspiration to the downrotten and unlucky people like I was for a couple of years. I do feel much much much peace and love in my life and mind. THIS is what I want to offer to the unlucky- the hope that we can become happy again and wiser for it. Imagination is huge in my life and always has been. It is my intelligence.

Looking back, i adapted to everything in my life or broke.

I always always followed my mind, even when it was crazy, as long as it was not hateful.

I decided much in my life. But also was a victim for a while.

Life on earth incuded intense sufferings here and there: I accepted them all except tinking I had been shat on by criminals raping me. That last thought threw me in a huge fury and I told God, in my living room, to 'get the fuck out of my life'.

I hate hate hate being humilated and thought moronic.

I have become way more endurant by now to it.

Everything is in the mind. But if you are broken, it will be rough for a while. I am always passion, adventure, courage but also selfishness. Not thinking about others first was a sadness for me. But quite normal given my education and experiences.

I am not Jesus and probably never the 14th either- I dont recognize anything from me in the 14th dalai lama. So why am I so loud? I think I will become a popular saint simply. And pass as a prophete to tibet maybe.