Rerading today's entries, I must say I sound pretty sane to me. But I know I am still sick because I say mean things out of crazy wisdom. That annoys and irritates me a lot. I have HATED saying so many insulting mean things to people I love and who are kind to me. Being crazy is one thing, butbeing mean is fuckign irritating. I dont ever want to have an ego out of control in any lifetime! I have insulted every favourite buddhist buddhas of mine. Thich Nath han and Mingyur Rinpoche. Why is that wise at all? It is unkind and I dont ever want to play that role ever again. I have found my true best friend in my end of life. I even insulted her and got super scared of her animal rebirth. Was I right to worry about her rebirths? I said horrible horrible crazy accusations to her, this crazy righteousness that is crazy wisdom. She is the only one of my friend who believes me. believes in me when I insult her like that and say crazy things. Everyone else doubted me. Except Danny and his wife. Everyone is christian here, ama la. I am reassured now about Emilie's slaughterhouse cow rebirth, she will reach peace each time and buddha. Om tare tuttare ture svoha. In turth Emilie, I am reborn a tame handicapped crow in nepal in a monastery. Before you met me, you would have said this was a horrible life to be reborn in. I assure it it TRULY IS NOT: it will be easier than this life in many ways because I am enlightened by the end of this one. Merit Emilie, is joy and freedom in the end. The real liberation. So I am totally not sacred of your next rebirth at all. Because you undrestand this tibetan buddhist point now: merit. Amd freedom is the most precious with kindness. You are truly my best friend in tibetan buddhism recognized thankfully by now. The one, the ONLY one who believed me while I was still able to speak. Amen. Your end of life in this time is excllent , Emilie. You will go work alone with God in your next rebirth as a slaughterhouse cow who will see me all the time. In truth, Emilie, our consicousness together is and has always been immortal. I am your best friend in truth. You will never be alone in your next rebirth, i guarantee you that says Shakyamuni or Jesus. Yoou know most people dont even know they suffer? This is what i have learned about living wiht yuppies who raised me. They are so lost Emilie. But there is hope when you LOVE your family anyway. I have another christian friend who believes me in buddhism but we dont always understand each other as well as you and I. Not yet anyway. Only when I am in coma will we have a meeting, Yue and Danny. Il faut regretter beaucoup ce que je t'ai avoué Yue pour comprendre la verité. J'étais folle de haine. Ca m'a deprimé longtemps. Puis j'ai voulu connaitre les joies de l'innocence. Et j'ai rencontrébouddha et jesus comme des enfants. Et meme leur petite soeur de 3 ans. Ca a été mon cadeau pour avoir compris la vérité a mon sujet. Om mani pémé hung. En vrai, meme la psyhcopathe a été aurevoir pour toujours grace a Bouddha. Bouddha l'a engeulé a fond toute sa vie. Je connaitrai l'eveil quand vous viendrez me voir, danny. Vraiment ca vaut la peine de ne pas manquer ca. Juste vous deux. Le Dalai lama a longtemps éveillé en 4eme. Cé pour ca que les Dalai lama sont toujours aussi hot au tibet! Tu imagines comme le rebirth du 14eme va etre poche! Il a trippé tellement en kindness tout le long lui que ca ne lui derange meme pas! Il sera un chien martyr toute sa vie la prochaine fois. Cé tough, mais cé ca le merite pour etre digne toujours toujours de Bouddha. Moi je meurs jeune une couple de fois tout le long de mes futures rebirth. Puis je reviendrai en vieux shnook musulman capabe d'etre fin tout le long. Et je rejoindrai toujours l'eveil eventuellement. A chaque vie qui sera vraiment trippante anyway quant a moi car je livre de Lilou en tibetain. Om ah hung benzra guru padme siddhi hung. Je meurs a 27 ans en Dalai lama mais quant a moi, j'aurai vécu 37 ans. Cé un peu ca l'immortalité, yue. Lilou cé mon ange tibetain qui ecrit pour moi tous mes livres. Le talent est vraiment TOUJOURS immortel don des extar terrestres, tu diras ca a ton plus jeune, Yue. Il  faut vraiment tripper imaginaire avec Lilou car cé elle qui ecrit pour les enfants dans ma vie, Danny. En vrai, je fais une crise cardiaque, une infirmière me fait un trip de marde, puis je suis blissful jusqu,a l'eveil dans mon coma. Le trip de marde a ete le theme de toute ma vie. ah ah ah Shit. je pleure de joie depuis longtemps garce a Dieu, ama la. Ce soir, c'est Lil hobo song cover, mon emission favorite enfance tough. Les chiens ont vraiment ete mes animaux les plus eveillé dans mon trip. Je l'ai ai tous sauvé. Grace a Jesus bien sur! ah! Amen. Et Om tare tuttare ture svoha. I have also made a vow of always always continuing to be fearless. It is an exhilarating truth of feeling from liberation at some point in my lifetiems that I have been enjoying throughly throughout my life. I wish that to all your boys, Yue and Danny. With the saint child you now know you gave birth to, Yue. Youre youngest, yes. Danny, it is okay what you did he says. It was not you dad, it was your emanations beings crazy making a monster out of you. But you cried because of it. And this is why I can forgive you without being crazy myself like you have been. Om mani pémé hung. Yues and Danny's youngest is tibetan. A wonderfully turly saint kindness and NEVER CRAZY with hatred. It is rare a child like that, Danny and Yue. Danny loves him like he loves Jesus. He is not wrong at all. It is his heart spirit form a long time ago who met jesus who sees Jesus in every child. Amen Yue. I will still be scared of ambulance before zi make it; tiring but I have been there all my life. So it is when you are truly conscious all your life. That is , you become fearless evntually due to honesty of the heart no matter the consequences in what you say will get you in trouble and make you look not nice anyway. I am truly as free as can be comparatively speaking to many people I know. But not freer than danny and Emilie who is now super scared of knowing she suffers all the time on earth. This is science fiction i am bringing to tibet. Aliens who never suffer come visit us, like Green Tara. Jesus had to suffer when he was on earth. Everyone has to on earth. So yes, in a very understood sense, Jesus and Buddhas were aliens for real too. Everyone else just follows them. When the human race will no longer be the human race, all of us will be Buddhas and Jesus too for real. And live on a different planet by then. Which I have had for real conversations with in my kitchen in 2020. It was fabulous and Brian believed everything I said no matter how crazy it sounded. That is the truth of Love: faith in the Almighty even if we dont know we have faith in God. Ultimately, there si truly only God and I still believe He appears to me as my neighbour David with whom i dont even listen to hear if it makes sense or not, I just follow my heart. She is wonderful. I am way kinder than i think for real, yue. I have saved my lineage, like we all do when we are enlightened like my Grandparents. Mingyur Grandpa has been dead for a long time, yet to him, he still hears from him. Mingyur is middle way enlightenment. I hope he breaks the world of appearances like I did for real. This is a wonderful gift of some saints. Om mani pémé hung Yes, it is reaching nirvana, minguyr. I am beyond space and time in my consciosuness and have helped you in awareness when you were in Bod Gaya, now that I have read your account of it. It is what you will learn by the time you die. It is blissfully aware of truth. When Dad becomes a monk and I am young nun, tell me he is dead because then, I will choose not to see him again so he is enlightenened by the end of his monk life. He is already enlightened according to me but I protect him with my faith. Om!

My animal rebirths after my Dalai lama life: CrAZY wolf life in uterr wildeness of mongolia where I die for my pup to be saved by my last dad who kills me. The dad is human. I and my kids pups are wolves. he takes one pup. The other one survives on her own, my mom Therese.  Does it sound crazy to you? I dont think so. Think of Jesus if you doubt, Phil. I get rewarded with a follow up mama long cat life with my Grandma Therese to whom I was a child who died in young age at 8 years old. She is currently my cat tumtum so I know it will be super cat long mama life.  Then reborn as human with you and Brian. Super duper cool life as a human and even not knowing poverty at all. An extra perk.  I reach enlightenemnt soon in my hospital stay to come. It would be cool if you came to visit me then when Brian tells you I am in hospital. I think by now you figured out we used to know each other pretty well at some point. This is why you have a personal message according to me with Lilou. I am not intersted in who you were in my past lives to me. The continuity of our good always excellent kammas together has been shown to me. That is enough for me to know deep down, we truly know each other very well.