I write this blog to tell tales and musings. Also to keep track of my mental condition. But why put every single thought I ever think on these screens and blogs? I suppose I need a  witness to my thoughts, me when I write and reread them online. I have too much crazy wisdom and not enough kindness and compassion. I pray I have time to change many things before I die. To reflect on emptiness and impermamence daily. But this time following Mingyur Rinpoche, the first tibetan read or any read i had in a long time. I am not alone, far from that. but I have to work alone at this as well, not just in interactions with others or online. Meditating seems to offer the path. And forcing myslef to cut back cigarettes and be sober over and over again. I have had such an easy life in the last year that i am afraid of what will come since I have done nothing but just lived in that wonderful year and bothered people with my emails. Each present moment is a preparation for the future while learning from the present and enjoying it hopefully. It is never too late they say. May Shakyamuni guide me on the meditation path and infuse my heart mind with wisdom and compassion and awareness.