I have simply awakened.

Meaning, for now: total mental health but I still need weed, booze, shelter and etc. I have seen my merit and learned even greater skills of meditation in this lifetime than in my past nun lives. It is very much the way we learn to meditate: through merit, peter brown. Som only sit to gather endurance at boredom, other suffer psychically like I did all their life...The more the merit, the better the skills. 

Photo: notes from my hand when I studies tibetan language script in india, dharamshala, 2003 with a lay woman and her baby boy. Her name was Pema.