I am afraid of this possible future: hubby will not heal unless he looses us all and finally turns to God.And stop being so arrogant with the wolrd God shows him and the people he must interact with. I have had visions, like I often have and they are most often wrong and just potential outcomes, that hubby would be quite distraught from shock before he dies at some point. It is my belief that ONLY then, will he accept ANY help he gets. And starts being humbled. I am led to believe that i will be dead. Sigh. Such is my life sentence everyone: only when I die will the people I have truly loved who were disappointing be made conscious of how they failed. They were numerous. I remind you that hubby has a STRONG call to be enlightened, unlike anyone else in my life I have met most of the time. He has the divine spark in him I see very rarely in my closed people in this lifetime. He is simply sick. Only losing me could wake him up to his own self without lies.

*Rereading these last few entries I must say I am charmed and enchanted by my mind. I am not less lucky than the majority of people, that is all I am saying. Just because I was ill all my life i thought for sure and had not a penny from anyone to help, even my rich sister, does not mean my life was harder than the majority of people on earth. Absolutely not. Hubby is the only one whose love was deep enough of intelligence to make him wait for me for so many years. I had NO ONE otherwise all my life. He is my life saver. And together we always have many adventures. I KNOW he has the enlightenment spark in him. Unlike everyone else I now know personally.